It's Not Going to Happen, So Give It Up

I was going to title this post, "Things Folks Don't Preach Enough About" but my actual title is more true to my thoughts. Today is New Year's Eve Day. The day folk get all geared up to be different than they were a year ago. The day where your Facebook feed is filled with status updates, quotes, and memes with "new year, new me" undertones. The day where churches prepare sermons for evening services to jolt us into a holier perspective for the new year. The day when your outlooks for a do over are promising and your wish lists are full. BUT.......we all know that realistically, even all of those things have some expiration date. Not because we want it to be so, but because we're human....and because usually the more you build up something the less likely you are to commit to it. So, those who are successful are simply those who REALLY desire things to be different, not just hopeful that they will be. 

Going into 2019, I'm not set on any specific things. I have some goals. Some wishes. However, I know myself and I know that declaring them is not enough to actually do them. I decided to go to more basic measures which brings me to the "stuff that's not going to happen, so I'm going to give it up." I guess you could say this is kind of the opposite to a New Year's Day resolution (typically we focus on things we want to happen). Some even focus on things that they are in fact giving up, but mostly in regards to things that will be forever discarded. But what about the stuff that will still be around...just unresolved? 

Let's be honest, you cannot actually "get rid of" certain things. Some things are just going to be. Those are the areas I'm speaking about. Some are relationships, some are jobs, some are circumstances beyond your control. Whatever shall we do when those things are still there in the beloved 2019? 

YOU DEAL WITH THEM.

Now, I know this seems a bit negative and hopeless, but stay with me. God is a good God and He is still on the throne. In fact, He never sleeps. He is also able to do ALL THINGS. As a matter of fact, He can do all things in the blink of an eye if He wanted to do so. However, sometimes it's in His Will and sometimes it isn't. Either way, He has a plan and He knows what He's doing. Either way He's still good.

Knowing this means we also have to know that everything will not be resolved. When you're younger, you think that if you pray hard enough for certain things, keep the faith, etc. that change will come. Well, yes and no. As you get older, you realize even more that some things just won't. It isn't because God didn't hear you, or He doesn't care, or He doesn't want to fix it. Sometimes things just aren't resolved on THIS side. I say THIS side because we know that ALL things will be resolved when we are with Him, but they may not be on the earthly end. That's why I almost titled this, "Things Folk Don't Preach Enough About" because we mostly get the "Struggle through and things will happen for you" sermons. Sometimes yes and sometimes no. This is why the phrase "And if He doesn't, He's still good" is one of my favorites because it's a reminder that everything doesn't always happen the way you want. It's also a reminder that while every problem has a solution, sometimes the solution is 0 action.

I made the following bullet list not too long ago which prompted this whole blog:

• He won't be who you want him to be.
• You won't have the relationship you wish to have.
• You won't always be seen or heard the way you'd like.
• Your hurts won't always be acknowledged or rectified the way you'd like.
• It is what it is. 
• Some things won't change.

                  ...and that's ok.

So, this list is about my dad. There's not enough blog space to go into all that, but I think the same list could apply to many other things or people. Again, I know it sounds negative. Some of things things could very well happen, BUT it's also likely they won't. 

There's a quote from Shakespeare that says, "Expectation is the root of all heartache."

I thought it interesting that he says ALL....and it's true. Expectation can be good, but anything not in moderation can also be detrimental. So, while certain things may be good to hope for, they can also be wasted energy that turns to heartache. And "ain't nobody got time for that." So, my 2019 "resolutions" will not be gym memberships and cutting off 8,000 people. It will be as simple as knowing it is what it is. Many have already come to that realization and I liked believing that I had come to that realization too. However, sometimes what we think and want to will into being just doesn't stick. My simple list alleviated some strain and I realize I may be adding to that list as the year goes on. Does that mean you should stop having a healthy portion of hope or expectation? No, keep your HOPE. Keep your mind set on the good. But also know that if it doesn't, or if it isn't, or if it can't....that you can still be good. Life is crazy, people can suck, but God is still good. He knows every hair on your head. He has a bottle of your tears. He can do the impossible. Often we see His footprints in all the things. Know that we can still see His footprints in the unanswered questions, unfairness, unresolved hurts, injustice, etc. I mean, if he fixed everything at the drop of a hat, what kind of faith, endurance, and patience would you really have?

I can answer that for you.....not much.

So how do you just deal with it? Especially when you still have to interact with certain circumstances, people, etc. that remain in your life? My brain knows the answer. It's all in a really nice book called the Bible (and it has a myriad of translations to help you out). However, God is still working on me, so my brain and my feels are still working some things out. Nonetheless, I'll offer this:

Psalm 55:22 says, "Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous be shaken."

I know, I know....you're thinking "But I'm shaken!" Yeah, me too. I get it, but I also read Psalm 55 in Matthew Henry's Concise Commentary (buy one if you don't have one- good for studying). It also read, "Care is a burden, it makes the heart stoop." Now, care is usually thought of in a positive connotation. You care about people and things and life and......but anything not in moderation can be detrimental, right? So, I never thought about cares making my heart stoop. I also looked up stoop even though I know what it means. I'm a teacher. I know everything, right? Ha! Anyhoo, stoop: bend, sink, etc. So yeah, how much do your "cares" cause your heart to sink? There's also a lot of "IF we let...." phrases in that Psalm. So, if we ain't letting Him do x, y, and z  then we won't feel any better (ain't used purposely for effect- 😉). Point. Blank. Period.

So, there's that.
I don't know much of anything. I'm just a mess that God is keeping.
Thought I'd share this little reminder with you as well.
People are going to people, and God is not always going to stop them from people-ing.
Draw healthy boundaries.
Don't take crap that's harmful to you.
But know that if you still have to deal with the people, some things just may not change.
It's ok to give up on that, so that you can give up on the stress.
It may suck but it is what it is.....and that's ok!

Brought to you by:

• My 6th time watching the Parenthood series (Currently on season 4).
• Jesus
• Bible journaling
• and more Jesus

Until next time....